May 2010
7 posts
Turning unemployment into funemployment!... Now...
Why does m come before n? It just doesn't make...
I think my apartment is trying to tell me...
Enjoyed three hours of public transport. Someone's...
Turns out having insects in your trash isn't all...
Tired of coming up with new facial expressions to...
Your day is never complete until you've been...
April 2010
30 posts
I think granny is being hypoglycemic just to...
Enjoying a day of graceless aging.
First those lusty 9-year-olds corrupted our church...
I have ugly friends to feel better about myself.
Spent day flirting with type 2 diabetes.
Landlord has great televangelist hair. You just...
Saving my hair for the bad times ahead. All in all...
Just realized that my last relationship only...
Nothing's impossible when you had booze for...
Let's add baldness to the suicide note.
Well, granny's new purse is a colostomy bag.
Mother felt like soliciting awkward hugs today.
Moving out of my mother's. Think I got menopause...
Bleeding is usually a good option when people are...
I think I'm one of Hellen Keller's Fav5. Getting a...
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a 10-year-old...
I didn't survive two wars on the history channel...
well, either my tv is broken or mtv is.
my cat's crotch and his face get along great. If...
Recently found an old, yet working SNES on a local...
I'm told pamela anderson has a face.
Due to the widening abuse scandal the Vatican has...
Trying to make -bortion a more fashionable suffix.
I am so sick of Cindy McCain chewing through my...
Beliebers is a terrible pun. Am I the only one...
If nothing remotely sexy happens tomorrow I'll...
Society should reconsider post-natal abortions.
There are no winners when I lose at strip poker.
Can't be disturbed today. Eating a lot of cake.
March 2010
34 posts
Justin Bieber is probably viral marketing for...
Felony would actually be a pretty girl's name
There is not a goiter in the world that would not...
Uggh, last time I lent a cucumber to Melissa...
Wow, the Pope's made it through a whole speech...
Well, Obama vs. Palin in 2012 will be a terrible...
This swimsuit season I'll skip Atkins and go right...
ughh, helen keller is a terrible guest editor
Bat sign looks oddly similar to stage IV of male... →
Why watch a Twilight movie when you can also stay...
oh, mom nature. why aren't hemorrhoids more like...
Why was I never molested in school? Not for lack...
Her butt is saying no and her breasts... she has...